Only thing missing is the windmill

Golf with a clog proves hit with the Dutch

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Dutch farmer Peter Weenink strides through a cow field brandishing the essentials for "Farmers' Golf", his cheap and cheerful version of formal golf which has grown from a bit of backyard fun into a serious sport.

The tall cheese maker (DO YOU BELIEVE THIS CRAP???) carefully places a ball on the ground, takes a swing with a wooden clog attached to a long stick and sends the ball flying with a resounding thwack.

New Farmers' Golf courses are springing up almost every week (www.farmersgolf.com) and Weenink said the game he invented in the northeast of the Netherlands in 1999 is expected to attract up to half a million players next year. (THAT'S 1/32 OF THE ENTIRE POPULATION FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!)

"Farmers' Golf was born out of a kind of frustration," he explained. Infuriated by the prohibitive prices and elitism of traditional golf clubs -- golfers have to pass an exam in the Netherlands to be allowed onto the course (AFTER EXAMS FOR BOTH SWIMMING AND CYCLING, WHAY NOT?) -- Weenink decided he had land enough of his own to improvise.

Players use a 'clog club' and complete a round of 10 holes. One of the sport's main attractions is that it is played on bumpy farmland, with cow dung and puddles posing deliberate challenges (REMINDS ME OF A FEW SOFTBALL TOURNAMENTS I'VE PLAYED), rather than the velvety turf of a golf course.
Weenink found just one snag: "Using small (golf) balls in the fields where cows are walking, you'd spend the whole day searching for the ball -- so we took a bigger ball."

SURE. WHY NOT? You'd think the Dutch had more sense and just boycotted the whole ludicris game altogether.