Heatwave

It's hotter'n hell in England at the moment. (And don't give me that "it's hot in NYC too bitch" crap because at least you guys can dive into airconditioned offices and stores. Totally unheard of over here, unless you own a car.) My dogs are suffering but they still want to spoon and cuddle -- I mean, what are they, stupid or something? Get off me!

Ebonics be cool

I'm puttin' this 'cause it be plain 'ol rollikin' fun. Enjoy, fools!

`Twas Da Night Befo` Christmas

Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood
Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good
The tube socks was hung on the window sill
and we all had smiles up on our grill
Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib
in the back bedroom cuz that's how we live
and moms in her do-rag and me with my nine
had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine
All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by
Bumpin phat beats cuz the system's fly
I bounced to the window at a quarter pas'
Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's--
well anyway
I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this!
She said, Stop frontin just mind yo' bidness
I said, for real doe, come check dis out
We weren't even buggin, no worries, no doubt
Cuz bumpin an thumpin' from around da way
Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh
Da beats was kickin, da ride was phat
I said, Yo red Dawg, you all that!
He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz,
"Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!
To the top of the projects and across the strip mall,
We gots ta go, I got a booty call!"
He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof
and sippin on a 40, he busted a move
I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!"
he said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack!
But don't worry black, cuz I gots da skillz
I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz."
Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings
a credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin.
he slid down the fire escape smoove as a cat
and busted the window with a b-ball bat
I said, "Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?"
he said,"You best get on up out my face!"
His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold
His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old
He dropped down the duffle, Clippers logo on the side
Santa broke out da loot and my mouf popped open wide.
A wink of his eye and a shine off his god toof
He cabbage patched his way back onto the roof
He jumped in his hooptie with rims made of chrome
To tap that booty waitin at home
and all I heard as he cruised outta sight
was a loud and hearty.....
"WEEESST SIIIIDE!!!!!!!"

For more Ebonics fun, jive translations, etc. visit this site.

More Adoptees!

This episode brought to you by the letter B.

There's a ton in this section: Johann Sebastian Bach, Ingrid Bergman, Darcey Bussell, Simon Bolivar, Pierce Brosnan, James Brown

Elizabeth Bishop (1911 - 79) poet:
Bishop's father died when she was a baby. When she was five her mother was permanently hospitalized for mental illness and she never saw her again. She was then raised by her grandparents in Canada but also went to boarding schools.
As an adult she lived in Brazil for 16 years before returning to the USA in 1970 to teach at the University of Washington, Harvard, New York University and MIT.
Her poetry earned her the Brazilian Order of Rio Branco, the US National Book Award, the US National Book Critics Award, the Neustadt International Prize for Literature, and a Guggenheim Fellowship. Her books include Questions of Travel, Poems: North and South, A Cold Spring, The Diary of "Helena Morley" and Geography III.

Richard Burton (1925 - 84) actor:
He grew up to become one of the most famous stage and film actors of the 20th century, but his life was saddened by several failed marriages (including two to Elizabeth Taylor) and drink problems. His films included My Cousin Rachel, The Robe, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, The Taming of the Shrew, Look Back in Anger, Night of the Iguana, Where Eagles Dare, Anthony and Cleopatra, Beckett, Anne of the Thousand Days, 1984 and Equus.

Kathy Burke (1964- ) actress, director:
Burke's mother died of cancer when she was 18 months old, and she spent the next two years in foster care with family friends, until she was able to rejoin her (alcoholic) father and two older brothers in a council flat in Islington, London. A proud Londoner, she has a striking Cockney accent and a tremendous capacity for expletives and cigarettes. She's unafraid of being painfully honest about her difficult childhood and still struggles to compete in a world where good looks win you more parts than real talent. Famously suggesting in an open letter to fellow actress Helena Bonham-Carter that she "shut up you stupid cunt" when Bonham-Carter had complained how difficult it was being an actress, pretty and middle-class, Kathy Burke is a people's hero simply because she has fulfilled her potential yet not put herself above everyday folk.

Don't need no title

Wheee! I'm an Adopteeee!

What I'm gonna do now for a while is bring you famous people who were adopted. (There's more than you think.) But only the cool ones, obviously. My hypothesis is that adopted folks are somewhat more excellent than mere mortals, having already been given another, second life before death. I'm going to leave the psycho-killers out of this for the time being. Although they, too, are somewhat extraordinary in their own right.

First up: Edward Albee (March 12, 1928) -- playwright

Adopted at 2 weeks old in Washington DC.

Albee on adoption: "I was adopted, so I have no idea where I was born. Close to my mother, I hope."

Edward's relationship with his adoptive mother was not smooth. Frances Albee did not approve of her son's friends, hobbies or homosexuality. She wanted him to act his part in the rich, upper class society. She wanted a son who talked, dressed and insulted people in the proper and correct manner. She was sorely disappointed. Reed Albee, who was slightly younger than his wife, was a theater producer. Reed's father was part-owner in many vaudeville theaters across the United States and exposed his grandson to the artistic crowd.Edward started writing plays and had his first success in 1959 with The Zoo Story. He is better known for his play, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Edward Albee has won three Pulitzer Prizes for his various plays.

He has been quoted as saying that his plays discuss the "responsibility of being alive," and he has a strong disdain for entertainment that is "manufactured to turn our brains into Cream of Wheat."

It's my blog I can put what I want

School House Rock

Growing up outside of the USA means missing out on life's funadmental neccessaties. (silly-putty, atomic fireballs, pop rocks...) But before throwing myself a pity-party, I remind myself that it's never too late to have a second childhood, or in my case, a fifth or sixth.

For example, how fucking cool is school house rock? Forget "conjunction junction," I challenge you to listen to this little ditty and not get it stuck in your head all day:

Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your adverbs here!

Bad Girl

Is it naughty of me to have forsaken Blogger and strayed into the world of My Space? Does it make me a bad person? Ah, fuck it, if I gave two shits I would crack another beer and drink until I couldn't remember what we were talking about in the first place. So here's the link: http://www.myspace.com/amstel190
It still looks pretty poor since among other things I can't speak HTML but bear with me.

In other news, my skates have arrived and I'm wetting myself with excitement! Will take a pic of me with my helmet and kneepads on for you all to laugh at.

Happy Thursday

Little help?

So since the skates are ordered, kneepads paid for and inbox starting to collect practice updates... I may as well face the fact that Rollerderby might have become part of my life. Who knows how big and for how long, but that's that.

Turns out, one of the coolest parts of joining this whole madhouse is choosing a name for one's self. And as far as I can tell, green as I am, there are quite a few themes from which to glean inspiration: alternative lifestyles, animalistic behavior, household implements, subversive expression, violence and brutality, physical ailments, overt female sexuality, WMDs, post-modern subcultures and, last but not least, corny punning. Or, in other words, names that include the words: mosh, mash, spank, skank, bang, slash, spill, bite, lick, fight -- in conjunction with phrases like: bar-brawl, crash-n-burn, lil' miss, bad grrrl, B52, junk-in-the-trunk and pussy-whupped -- plus a wide assortment of drugs and booze references like: Vi Codin, Mae Lox, Foxy Codone and Anita Fix. (Mega points for including corny puns.) The dirtier, raunchier and scarier the better!!!

No two rollergirls have the same names as they are all listed on a world-wide register.

(If I were still at Sarah Lawrence I'd have my 50-page conference paper outlined, written and published by now!)

Ok, so I've got a few ideas but still no cigar as it were. Anybody have any ideas? I'm stearing clear of things that don't express me (any references to being: "big," as I'll probably be dwarfed by these ladies; "physically inept," this they will discover without my help; "gay," don't wanna get their hopes up) In other words, names that evoke a person who's small, fiesty, boozed-up, pissed-off and generally blagging her way through life.

So let's hear it people!

Shit, gotta go. There's some dude on the roof opposite and the dogs are going nuts.

The ball's not soft

Hey -- if you're squeamish, you might wanna look away now... Ooops! Too late. Here's just some cool injuries Randy and I have sustained playing softball. Enjoy!

Nice Cameltoe

Maybe next time she'll remember to put on some pants.

Do weird things happen to good people?

So tell me honestly: what's the deal with Rollerderby? Is it kinda cool or scary strange and very dirty? I mean, on the surface, the sport itself looks like fun. But what's up with the whole psycho bull-dyke atmosphere? The reason I ask is because a friend of mine has invited me to join the London Roller Girls and while I'm super-psyched, I'm also shitting scared. The deal with this club is that it hardly even exists yet (not enough to fill multiple teams anyway) so perhaps the sleazy glam-rock punk-slut attitude has yet to arrive. However, the websites from the states are frightening. Check out the Gotham Girls' site. Then compare it to the one from Cape Fear, NC.
Oh well, I suppose checking it out won't hurt. Well, it might hurt, but it might not suck. I've already ordered skates and everything! I'm trying not to get too excited just in case they make me do funny things and I refuse and have to quit and be mad at myself.

Any insights would be appreciated!